EVERYONE IS CHASING HAPPINESS.
Mass media keeps telling us that we won’t be happy unless we have a family who loves us; recognition from the masses (hello, social media..); we have an hourglass figure with pecs & abs; we earn a five figure income monthly.
However, happiness seems elusive, even after we have all that — how can we find it, and how can we make it last?
Everyone wants an easy solution, and it seems as if it will come from external sources.
Unfortunately, happiness comes from within. It is about how you FEEL, and acknowledging your feelings, then working on your perception.
It isn’t about DENYING what you feel.
Happiness is about acknowledging them, and figuring out WHY you feel that way, and WHAT you can do about it, HOW much you’re willing to do, and WHEN you can do it by.
Otherwise, you will always find that happiness eludes you.
Additionally, many times, how we look at our life’s challenges and how we react to them is much more dramatic than it is worth.
It is far better to be grateful for the experience, no matter what it is, because this too shall pass, and the ways of the universe are unknown to us.
The following is something that I wrote, in response to a friend who was lamenting about the challenges he was facing in life. I was giving some perspective by sharing my personal life challenges. I hope you who are reading this will also find some encouragement and new perspective through it.
I don’t even own a home and I don’t even come close to be able to apply for one — I don’t know when I will be able to begin the process, much less when I will eventually own one.
I’m not staying with my family, but I still pay for some of the utilities, as well as Internet, and a monthly allowance to my mum. She is not obligated to put me up at her flat, and I choose not to make her feel like I am infringing on her privacy.
I’ve moved twice since June this year, sleeping in the study or a spare storage room of friends who are generous enough to have me. I live out of my suitcases and bags. I have things in boxes because I don’t have anywhere to place them, and I don’t even have much stuff other than photographs and my past work, certificates etc.
So, I think I am more displaced than you.
Yet I count my blessings that I have a roof over my head, I have a safe place to return to, I have a bed to sleep on, I have a place to have a hot shower and clean clothes.
My children don’t live with me, and I don’t get to see them as often as you do because they’re not even in the same country. I am kept in the loop of their lives but it affects me how I feel they are not provided with the best care that they can possibly have.
I can count with one hand the number of people I have daily interactions with, not including colleagues.
I teach my yoga, I work on my freelance writing, I do my own yoga practice mostly. I’m also coming back to a place that doesn’t seem much or to no one special in my life.
But at least you do have people to support you. You are staying with family. You have a stable job. You get to spend a few hours a week with your son. You have found new love.
As long as you have even one person supporting you and cheering for you, don’t give up.
Take it one day at a time, one step at a time.
I still haven’t found new love but I don’t despair. Because I have my health, I have my friends who support me in whatever way they can. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life on most days. All I know is that I love to teach yoga, I love to write, and as long as my children are alive, I will keep taking one step a day, taking each day as it comes.
It’s not easy, it will get easier, but you just have to believe in yourself.
- Count Your Blessings
- Be Grateful for the Experience, no matter what it is
- Don’t Give Up
- Take It One Day at a Time
- Believe in Yourself